213501
Joke of the Day
"What's black, white, and too fast to see? The perfect mugging."
Next Joke
"Honking the whole time isn't going to make everyone in front of you go any faster. Stupid geese."
"TIME TO RETIRE Q: WHEN DOES A PROSTITUTE KNOW IT TIME TO RETIRE? A: WHEN SHE CAN NO LONGER HIDE THE STRETCHMARKS AROUND HER LIPS."
"You ever heard of Oedipus? That guy's a real motherfucker."
"Funny how shampoo bottles weigh like, 2 pounds in real life, but when dropped in the shower they turn into a meteor."
"What's BROWN and making California a miserable place to live? California Governor Jerry BROWN you racist asshole!"
"A Photon checks in at an airline front counter. Agent says... Sir, do you have any checked baggage?' Photon replies, 'No, I'm travelling light.'"
"What do you call the CFO of a landscaping company? A hedge fund manager"
"How do Italian Chefs swap recipes? By Spaghett-e-mail!"
"So I was walking down the street when..... Someone threw a block of cheese at me, so I turned and said, that's not very mature!"