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Joke of the Day

"So I was walking down the street when..... Someone threw a block of cheese at me, so I turned and said, that's not very mature!"

"A plant fell on my head... I'm alright though, it was no big dill."

"I'm pretty excited about my new band When I asked the record exec whether he thought our song would be popular, he told me it would be off the charts!"

"I wanna make a joke about sodium, but Na.."

"Never go to bed angry, stay awake and plot your revenge. "

"I guess my least favorite author is probably Hitler"

"A good friend of mine drowned the other day We put a life jacket on his coffin, it's what he would have wanted."

"My girlfriend told me, ""I wanna smash!"" We played smash bros from 12 to 12!"

"They should name hurricanes after black people: It only takes one to ruin the neighborhood."

"Toddler misbehaves, but follows it up with throwing his hands in the air and yelling ""Ta-da!"" so he won't get in trouble. Stealing it."