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Joke of the Day

"A Photon checks in at an airline front counter. Agent says... Sir, do you have any checked baggage?' Photon replies, 'No, I'm travelling light.'"

"The other day I was laying down a carpet... ...and my friend Speedy Gonzales was helping me. At one point I said, ""Have I missed anything, Speedy?"" And Speedy says, ""Underlay, underlay!"""

"How much did Juan weigh after eating Chinese food? Juan ton"

"Girl: I think we should just be friends Me: ya okay, but I get to be Chandler!"

"If they gave out awards for laziness, I would have to send somebody to accept it for me."

"Your psychiatrist's opinion about your social media habits don't count if he has less followers than you."

"My friend and I wanted to take the spider out instead of killing it... Went and got drinks, cool guy, wants to be a web designer."

"How does one refer to intentionally harming the national bird of the U.S? It's an ill-eagle activity"

"The trouble with having an Asian fetish AND a foot fetish... You're bound to get off on the Wong foot."

"I thought I just had a bad headache but according to WebMD I'm a conjoined twin slowly dying from jaundice."