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Joke of the Day

"Every time I pick up my phone after dropping it, I feel like one of those worried girls in movies who just took a pregnancy test."

"Why can't Admiral Ackbar fly to Hawaii? ""Aloha Ackbar"" doesn't go over well at the airport"

"I may not be able to out run the zombies when they come, but this cheeseburger is going to make me taste great"

"#TT At 14 I yelled, ""You'll NEVER understand Morrissey,dad!!"" and tried to run dramatically out of the room but ran into a wall & fell over."

"If you don't know what a prefix is, don't worry. It's not the end of the word."

"Meg's mother was visiting her daughter at camp. 'How did you find the steak dinner?' she asked. 'With a magnifying glass!'"

"I invented a SJW alarm clock. It not only tells you the time, it reminds you what year it is, too."

"Lamar Odom suffered a dozen strokes... Tiger Woods is jealous of his low stroke count."

"There are 4 states of Matter Solid, Liquid, Gas, and Black Lives"

"What concert costs 45 cents? Fifty Cent and Nickleback"