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Joke of the Day

"I invented a SJW alarm clock. It not only tells you the time, it reminds you what year it is, too."

"*Notices that boss is about to walk into glass door* *Lets nature run its course*"

"9. You can fit 9 cats inside an acoustic guitar."

"A baby seal walks into a club... Think about it...lol"

"Oh, you thought my hair twirling was flirting? Actually, it was just me checking for split ends because you were boring the shit out of me."

"HR said I'm not allowed to try to hang co-workers with an extension cord. Dunno what I'm supposed to use though, they wouldn't tell me."

"What do you call a marathon runner that refuses to stop? A joggernaut."

"I heard an immature joke about dildos. Now I'm butthurt."

"As kid, It was always easy to find the black kids on the playground... They were always hanging around the monkey bars."

"Peter Dinklage is a Star! He is a White Dwarf."