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Joke of the Day

"Why can't a blonde dial 911? Because she can't find the number 11 EDIT: Maybe the fact she thinks it was called 9-11 was part of the joke?"

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"BREAKING NEWS Literally to be eliminated from the English language in 2015 Use it while you can, white girls"
"I'm gonna make a proctologist training video based on the Shawshank Redemption The main characters name will be Andy Dufranus"
"Angry Birds for Olympics: Instead of hitting two birds with one stone, here you can hit two stones with one bird."
"One person gets an idiom wrong and it spreads like wildflower"
"Why did the pedophile move to Korea? Because there, Too Young is just a name."
"What's the difference between a baby and a washing machine? The washing machine doesn't cry when you drop a load in it."
"What do you call a an Egyptian crocodile who swears they live in Florida? In da-Nile"
"What is 007's favorite subject at school? Chemistry, because he knows a lot about bonds!"
"What is the difference between paint and a midgets' underpants? When you sniff paint, you get high"