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Joke of the Day

"Why did Skrillex get fired from the antique shop? Because he d-d-d-d-dropped the vase. Stupid. I know."

"What did the Jewish pedophile say? ""Hey kid, wanna buy some candy?"""

"The key ingredients for a successful diet : Duct tape Rope Rat poison Shovel Bag of lime Alibi What?...wait. Wrong list."

"What's got two wings, a tail and twenty five pricks? England's return flight."

"Great Insults A letter from teacher to parent:Dear parent,Kamal doesn't smel nice in class.Please try to bathe him.Parent answer:Dear teacher,Kamal is not a rose.Don't smell him.Teach him."

"Thank you, U.S. Senate. I've been asking and telling people things all day!"

"Why can't you hear a pterodactyl use the bathroom? The ""p"" is silent."

"I bet the Presidential Seal gets to eat all the fish he wants."

"So, I was bragging about watermelons look like to my friends now she says we cantaloupe."

"If I'm ever being chased by a giraffe I'm gonna run into a place with low ceiling fans sorry giraffe but I gotta do what's best for me"