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Joke of the Day

"If anti-gay stuff is always coming out of your mouth ... ... then it is at least somewhat likely that something very gay is going into your mouth at one point in time or another. Get it?"

"My daughter is the perfect height for using an umbrella to simultaneously keep her dry and for me to lose an eye from one of its corners"

"What's the difference between a woman and a gun You can put a silencer on a gun"

"I'll never feel more drunk than I do walking down a broken escalator sober."

"Girlfriend told me to f*ck her like a man So I put it in her ass and called her Jeff"

"What did the Mancunian abortion doctor say to the fetus? ""Don't look back in hanger"""

"A Dark Joke What is the similarity in between a dark joke and food? Not everyone gets it"

"I just learned Avicii is a singer and not Roman numerals for 1952."

"Women are like leaves... Sometimes they fall out of trees and I've never had sex with one"

"""Hey, Mr Tambourine Man, play a song for me."" *shakes tambourine* ""Got any others?"" *shakes tambourine* ""Sounds a lot like the last one"""