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Joke of the Day

"Man buys a cat, finds out cat is fake. It's the cats name... Ba dum dun... Tsi! Thanks folks, I'll be here all night..."

"I'm catching a lot of Pokemon on my drive home... ... because the hospital stay after a car accident tends to make the commute last much longer."

"Virgins They never gave a fuck."

"Which plant talks the most crap? Shiitake mushrooms."

"Failed long-term relationships are never a total waste. They teach you valuable life skills, like how to carve profanity into car paint."

"I'm not afraid that the world is going to end.... I'm afraid that it isn't going to change...."

"What do Leonardo DiCaprio & anyone who buys a Powerball ticket have in common? Their odds of winning are the same"

"What do you call it when a Sith goes to a Galleria? Darth Mall."

"How do you make holes in a fire? With a fire drill."

"Toy idea: Remote control car that you can sit in & control from the inside."