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Joke of the Day

"Virgins They never gave a fuck."

"He told me he wants my heart ""Sharon I'm pretty sure he's a serial killer"" No way! *later on with guy* Wow you're really into bondage huh?"

"Fuck. My iPhone added a g to ""sayin'"" and now my black friends think I'm lame."

"Two deers walk out of a gay bar. And the one says to the other... ""I can't believe I blew Fifty Bucks back there!"""

"Great joke I heard at a standup show in Houston this weekend. (Dark humor) Give a man a fish, and he you will feed him for the day. Give a man two prosthetic legs, and he'll shoot his girlfriend."

"I like my women like I like my coffee Cold dark and bitter."

"It's funny how dogs can lick their own balls... it's so hard for me to do that, they start barking at me before i get anywhere near them."

"I can't stand Italians and their slanty eyes... ...no, wait, *italics*."

"We have all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true."

"You know what makes me angry? Haemoglobin kettles. They really make my blood boil."