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Joke of the Day
"My boss just asked me why I wasn't working.. ..i told em cuz I didn't see him coming"
Next Joke
"A therapist and his client play a word association game and the therapist asks, ""What's the first word that comes to mind after the word 'pork'?"" ...he responds, ""U pine."""
"*bites into tuba sandwich and breaks teeth* damn autocorrect"
"How could the pimp always easily locate his ho? Because, she really stands out on the street."
"""Friends are a dime a dozen."" *pulls out a sack full of dimes* ""Sweet, I'll take 32 dozen friends please."""
"Talk is cheap until you hire a lawyer."
"INTERVIEWER: so what makes you qualified to work at comcast ME: *shows up four hours later* INTERVIEWER: you're hired"
"Yesterday a bird crashed into my window... ..of course that's what I was willing it to do, so everything worked out great."
"Are those your discarded fingernails on this bus seat or are you just happy to watch me throw up my breakfast?"
"Doctor Doctor I'm boiling up! Just simmer down!"