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Joke of the Day
"I tried to catch fog yesterday. Mist."
Next Joke
"A friend told me this one... Why did the cyclops close his school? Because he only had one pupil! The joke is that I have no friends"
"Hearing problems I went to the doctors with hearing problems. He said ""Can u describe the symptoms?"" I said ""Homers a fat bloke and Marge has blue hair"""
"""Truth or dare"" ""Truth"" ""What's your credit card number"""
"Why was Santa in the asylum? He lost his SANTAty"
"I don't like how funerals are usually at 9 or 10 AM. I'm not a mourning person. Edit: WHY THE HELL DID THIS MAKE THE JOKES FRONT PAGE"
"Chivalry died the same time you stopped being a lady, honey."
"They say when a Japanese girl is really turned on... The pixels will align."
"What did the lunatic vacuum cleaner salesman say to his son before murdering him? Dyson."
"[tweets about one side of an issue to my followers who all agree with me already] hell yes I'm making a difference"