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Joke of the Day

"Hear about the time Mohammed's wife called him a pedophile? Mohammed responded ""Pedophile is a pretty big word for a 9 year old!"""

"The best pick up advice I've ever been told is.. ..always bend your knees."

"furniture disease i just got home from the doctor's and i have really bad news. turns out i have the furniture disease. its where your chest hangs down past your drawers"

"BEST vine with nigga - chocolate milk https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6JZfR4PwIbs"

"What does a five year old and a penis have in common? If it doesn't come when you tell it to, then just beat it harder. (I am so sorry)"

"Women say they want a guy who can make them laugh. I'd probably have done better if they'd specified that they didn't mean by tickling."

"Manager: Our new midfielder cost ten million. I call him our wonder player Fan: Why's that? Manager: Everytime he plays I wonder why I bothered to buy him!"

"Australians don't have sex. They mate."

"A man was hospitalized with 6 plastic horses up his bum. Doctors described his condition as ""stable"". #manicmonday"

"""Taxi"" A: Hey, man! Please call me a taxi. B: Yes, sir. You are a taxi."