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Joke of the Day

"My eyesight is so bad that, after I took my contacts out last night, I chatted to my cat for 5 mins before I realised it was my handbag."

"Liam Neeson is like Super Mario who keeps saving a chick who keeps getting kidnapped but instead of mushrooms he's really into phone calls."

"I thought I was watching 50 shades of Grey But I realised it was just a porno. I could tell the difference because they were having consensual sex."

"How did Jared Fogle lose so much weight? because he chose from the kids menu"

"I've only been in jail for 5 minutes and I've already been raped twice. My uncle doesn't fuck around when playing Monopoly."

"What's the difference between jelly and jam? You can't jelly this dick in your mom's mouth"

"Vote for the Best Military Joke of 2008 | Funny Stuff | Reader's Digest"

"I really have to hand it to short people Because they usually can't reach it anyways."

"What do worms and women have in common They both wiggle when you eat them."

"Q: What did one pig say to the other? A: Let's be pen pals!"