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Joke of the Day

"I thought I was watching 50 shades of Grey But I realised it was just a porno. I could tell the difference because they were having consensual sex."

"I bought shoes from my drug dealer today I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day."

"Son, always wait 30 minutes after eating before swimming ""But dad we're goldfish"" Oh yeah, I forgot ""Forgot what?"""

"Two dyslexics.. walk into a bra."

"Wife: Can you check the dryer? Me: You put a check in the dryer? Don't you know money laundering is illegal?"

"What do you call a black pilot? A pilot, you fuckin racist."

"My biggest regret of 2014? Probably when my husband watched ""The Notebook"" with me and then I yelled at him for not building me a house"

"What does a psychologist wear to bed? A Freudian slip."

"I'm going to name my daughter ""Up""... so when she brings a boy home, I can look him straight in the eye and say, ""Don't you dare fuck up."""

"Atleast there was one way that the new Ghostbusters was true to the original... It still had a black guy as one of the main cast."