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Joke of the Day

"Wanted to respond with ""Perfect!"" but accidentally sent ""Pervert!"" That's my cue to leave. And sorry, Steve, you're probably not a pervert."

"I had lunch at Uri Geller's house the other day... It was terrible. I ended up with soup all down my front."

"You young couples with your dogs, your trial children, you'll learn nothing about parenting because you can never teach a toddler to ""sit""."

"What's the difference between a porcupine and a BMW? Porcupines have their pricks on the outside"

"Many people are shocked when they find out I'm not a good electrician."

"I was gonna tell you a gay joke... Butt fuck it"

"after my son won his soccer game, his teammate invited us over to celebrate. it was father, son, and the goalie host"

"What did the water say to the boat? Nothing. It just waved."

"Daddy, did you ever eat cat food when you were little? ""Yeah, but it didn't taste very good."" She smiled and nodded, ""I know, it taste like dog food."" *A recent conversation I had with my daughter*"

"Tape is so anti social It likes to stick to itself."