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Joke of the Day

"You young couples with your dogs, your trial children, you'll learn nothing about parenting because you can never teach a toddler to ""sit""."

"Teacher: Today, we're going to talk about the tenses. Now, if I say ""I am beautiful"", which tense is it? Student: Obviously it is the past tense."

"A guy asked me if I wanted some free fish... I asked, ""What's the catch?"""

"What kind of comedian becomes more famous if they bomb than if they don't? An Islamic one."

"I don't often get suspicious,but squirrels rubbing their tiny hands together? I worry they won the lottery & hired a good hit & run attorney"

"Kentucky Derby trivia - Why don't female jockeys shave their pussies? They like their fur long! I'll show myself out..."

"Love is like a fart If you have to force it, it's going to be shit."

"Amazon is a $250 billion dollar company that reacts to you buying a vacuum by going THIS GUY LOVES BUYING VACUUMS HERE ARE SOME MORE VACUUMS"

"I was so poor as a kid, we only had Onepac Shakur."

"Nicholas Cage is the same character in every movie he makes, except Face off where he was John Travolta."