213021

Joke of the Day

"I've been a vegetarian for 13 years but if I ever got the chance I would absolutely 100% bite the head off the Geico gecko"

"Crazy ex-girlfriends are like a box of chocolates... They'll kill your dog."

"i love hoodies man. am i skinny ? am i fat ? nobody knows"

"Hollywood hasn't remade Spiderman in a couple weeks. I hope they're okay."

"What did the Mexican princess ask her sister? Tijuana build a snowman?"

"A Nurse talks to her young Patient Kid: Thanks for helping me get through these tough times, will you come and see me when I get out? Nurse: I'd love to, but I am scared of visiting graveyards"

"Two tomatoes cross the road and one of them gets hit by a car. The other one looks back and yells ""C'mon, ketchup!"""

"Kobe Bryant's Wife filing for divorce. I bet somewhere right now Kim Kardashian is plotting.."

"It's so awkward when a man texts you to come over and you have to pretend like you weren't already inside their house."

"You know what's stupider than a cow? Two cows."