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Joke of the Day

"""I like Trump because he isn't a politician."" Right, because whenever my toilet breaks I call my electrician."

"How do you measure a Lego figure's shoe size? In square feet."

"Two scientists walk into a bar... One asks for a H2O, the other asks for a H2O too. The bartender hands them both glasses of water and asks them why they're talking in scientific terms."

"Caitlin Jenner isn't transgender. She's trans-Jenner."

"Is it just me... ...or are circles pointless?"

"I made a joke about a midget criminal running down the stairs. The punchline is a little condescending. Ba dum *tss*"

"So Hilary, what are your plans for economic development and beating ISIS if you ever win the election? ""I have a boyfriend"""

"*tattoo parlor* ARTIST: What do you want? ME: Surprise me *He tattoos the word 'hiccup'* ME: Why did y- ARTIST: BOO! *the tattoo disappears*"

"Having sex in an elevator is wrong on so many levels."

"Happy Valentine's Day! So what's everyone doing with their cats tonight??"