212925

Joke of the Day

"What do you call a bear with no hair? Bare"

"Why do we have to listen to a 45 second instructional to leave someone a voice mail? Beep, talk. We get it, condescending cell companies."

"Pretty soon Starbucks will stop being coy and offer to just shove a pumpkin & a fistful of nutmeg in your ass for $20."

"What do all murderer's have in common? they all have killer personalities"

"Why do neckbeard dentists love Cats the musical? Because m'cavity."

"Q: What is the difference between Liverpool football and a tea bag? A: The tea bag stays in the cup longer."

"I'm not a doctor... so my understanding of Parkinsons is a little shaky."

"At this point in my life if I drop something and can't pick it up with my foot or via one of my kids, it's staying on the floor."

"My favorite sexual position is the JFK. I splatter all over her while she screams and tries to get out of the car."

"Why don't orphans like baseball? Because they don't know were home is XD"