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Joke of the Day

"Why do Americans write ""color"" instead of ""colour""? Because fuck ""u"", that's why."

"My wife has been mad at me lately because she says I need to get my priorities straight... I told her we can talk about it after this episode of Spongebob."

"Why did the Russian man get food poisoning? Because NE-coli."

"Why does Mexjco do poorly in the olympics? Because all the Mexicans who can run fast, swim fast and jump high are in the states."

"Read a magazine at the doctor's office so I'm all caught up on Clinton running for president. I don't think Bush can beat him."

"Idea to help fight the obesity epidemic in America: Force Walmart to keep their parking spaces at least 200 yards from their entrances."

"A man walks into a bar... And slowly alcoholism tears apart his family"

"I had sex with a campfire. It was hot."

"""I'm proud of all the Twitter followers you've accumulated."" - none of our parents"

"What do you call a chinese duo that plays ping pong? Ping Pong"