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Joke of the Day
"A man walks into a bar... And slowly alcoholism tears apart his family"
Next Joke
"Tried my hand at this whole 'cougar' business but I just don't like the taste of hikers. It's possible I read the wrong Wikipedia page."
"what do you call a pissed off group of door handles? An angry knob"
"What is the best way to lose money? A: Lend it to Greece."
"What do you get if you cross a phone with a mouthwash? Tele-Scope."
"Why were the Star Wars made IV, V, VI, I, II, III? Because in charge of distribution, Yoda was."
"my parents did a terrible job of distributing my skill points"
"I like my pillow like..... I like my pillow, like I like my women. Lumpy, covered in drool, and can take a punch."
"Men are four times more likely than women to commit suicide, even though women attempt it more. So men are better at it! \- George Carlin"
"When singers at concerts hold out the mic for the audience to sing, it's like what am i, your maid"