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Joke of the Day

"What is a southern aristocratic families favourite dance move? The whip"

"""May I take your order?"" the waiter asked. ""Yes how do you prepare your chickens?"" ""Nothing special sir"" he replied. ""We just tell them straight out that they're going to die."""

"i mean, at some point the Absolute Funniest Thing Ever happened and i'd bet you $75 it involved a huge fart."

"Have you met my vegetarian girlfriend? Nah, I've never met herbivore."

"Did you hear about the guy who crashed his car into a tree? He wanted to see how much his Mercedes Benz"

"I shouldn't be forced to have black friends. I know my whites."

"Why does Santa Clause have such a big sack? He only comes once a year."

"I always hate going into my cousin's house. He vapes e-cigarettes constantly... ...so whenever I leave there, I end up smelling like an ashlesstray."

"(Date) ""What's wrong?"" Oh nothing I'm just a nervous hummer ""Aw how cute!!"" *perfectly hums the entire Jurassic Park theme at full volume*"

"I guarantee you, this is a joke Donald Trump"