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Joke of the Day
"Have you met my vegetarian girlfriend? Nah, I've never met herbivore."
Next Joke
"I think my roommate might be gay... His dick tastes like shit."
"I thought landlady was the opposite of mermaid?"
"I said I wouldn't go drinking in public again, but here I am waiting for my kids to get out of school."
"Your Honor, for our opening motion in this murder trial, the defense would like to submit, as exhibit A, the victim's ringtone."
"What does a cynical Irishman drink? Whiskey sour"
"Today is David Finchers birthday... WHATS IN THE BOX!?????"
"Why didn't the toilet paper cross the road..? **Because he got stuck in the crack.**"
"Why are oceans so salty? Because the Earth is always tilted."
"If you ever see three New Yorkers get into a cab without an argument a bank has just been robbed"