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Joke of the Day
"Might love you quicker if you bring me more Liquor."
Next Joke
"How rare was the disease that killed Tom Jones' wife? It's not unusual"
"Knock Knock Who's there ! Cricket ! Cricket who ? Cricket neck means I can't lift anything !"
"Whats common between dark jokes and little kids with cancer... They never get old."
"""For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.."" - Newton's Law ""Shredded cabbage and carrot make a great salad."" - Cole's Law"
"Why don't lamps talk? They're antisocial lights."
"That touchdown dance is exactly the same as mine when I wake up in a guy's apartment and his furnished apartment has a nice view."
"How much for these old batteries? For you? No charge."
"""What do you do in your free time? "" ""I stalk. "" ""Really? I go swimming and for long hikes"" ""I know.""."
"How do you get a hipster to take a shower? Give them a leaky showerhead. You know, so they can avoid the main stream."