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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between pea soup and roast beef? Anyone can roast beef."

"Everything has to be related in a woman: if the mouth shuts, the legs open."

"What do you call a gorilla with a banana in each ear ? Whatever you want, he can't hear you.."

"My friends say there is a gay guy in our circle of friends... I really hope it's Todd, he's cute"

"I can see what happens at the end of Trump's presidency I have 2020 vision."

"Why was the egg kicked out of the comedy club? Because he was telling bad yolks!"

"My girlfriend isn't talking to me because apparently I ""ruined"" her birthday... ..I'm not sure how that's possible, I didn't even know it was her fucking birthday."

"What do The Starship Enterprise and toilet paper have in common? The both circle Uranus and get rid of Klingons."

"I've had a really bad day. First, my wife got ran over by a bus. Then, I lost my job as a bus driver."

"At midnight, thousands of people will be at Times Square to witnesss Ryan Seacrest's balls drop."