198247

Joke of the Day

"all pans are no-stick pans if you no-cook in them."

"This presidential race in America has taught us at least one thing. Once you go black you can go back."

"There is simply no need to add ""NSFW"" in your bio. This is twitter. None of us have jobs."

"Why was the lizard upset with her husband? Because he had a reptile dysfunction. ... Okay bye now"

"Why did the auditor cross the road? Because he looked in the file and that's what they did last year."

"Hey, parents. Stop raising children and start raising adults."

"Carpentry isn't what Jesus Christ is most known for because he was bored with nails."

"My grandfather was a boxer in the British Army. Which was completely unfair because the enemy had rifles."

"Really, Weather Guy? It's gonna be a ""pleasant"" weekend? How about you go to Stacy's baby shower and report back."

"""AUGHHGGUAUGGHGHGHGHGGGGH!!!!!!!!"" - killer wail"