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Joke of the Day

"*joins Buddhist monastery* *withstands 21 years of brutal kung-fu training* So, vending machine that didn't drop my funyuns. We meet again."

"*birds dress Cinderella for school* *gets to school, goes into bathroom* *buncha rabid squirrels gather and re-dress her in goth shit*"

"whats a feminist least favorite football team? MANchester united"

"I used to steal other people's jokes.... I still do. But I used to too."

"I had such a bad allergic reaction to a peanut today... ... that I got sued by TheFineBros."

"What kind of bear dissolves in water? A polar bear."

"What did the Game of Thrones character say when he saw the slutty door? Hodor."

"What makes the sound 'Clip clop bang clip clop'? An Amish drive-by"

"Keep your friends close and your asthma inhaler closer."

"Made this up while hanging out with some friends What do you call someone you hate who owns a cube car? Dick in a box"