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Joke of the Day

"They say drugs will hurt your long term memory but I kind of take pride in needing to Google the proper spelling of ""Bieber"" every damn time"

"You'll never believe how much this girl paid me to have sex with her...... One vagina."

"Why can't Jim's make sandwiches? Cause it was at my grannies, isn't it!!!"

"I don't like the idea of bacteria in my yogurt so I mix it with hand sanitizer. It cuts down on the taste, but I sleep better at night."

"Why are there no black people in clue? Because then it wouldn't be a mystery."

"How does the Addidas executive work through the night? Three lines"

"What do gay men say when they pray? AHHH **MEN**"

"Did you hear about the blond who got hurt while raking leaves? she fell off the tree."

"I tried giving up erections for lent... but it got pretty hard."

"What's the difference between LIGHT and HARD? You can sleep with a light on."