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Joke of the Day

"You should never get married because it can ONLY end in literally 2 ways; divorce or death! Funny... but true."

"[babysitting] Ok well sorry I threw all your kid's toys into the ocean but maybe next time be more clear if you suggest we have a tea party"

"The racist dove Married a racist hen And together they started A coo clucks clan"

"Who looks after the EuroDisney website? Mick e-mouse."

"I don't get why you have to call my wife *librarian ignores me while on phone* ""your husband is here trying to check out a book about ramps"""

"*Knock Knock* ""Who's there?"" HOLD THE DOOR!! HOLD THE DOOR!!! HOL THE DOOR! HOL DA DOR! HO DA DOR! :'("

"I just watched one bird chase another bird from tree to tree for five minutes. It was probably over a stolen tweet."

"A light joke. So I had this crazy dream where I weighed less than a thousandth a gram. Yeah I was like 0mg!"

"Why did the whale like the diver? Because he had flippers!"

"I never understood what liking large asses had to do with being fallacious, but who am I to question the genius of a knighted rapper."