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Joke of the Day

"Apparently, I snore so loudly that it scares everyone... In the car I'm driving."

"Maybe I'm covered in chameleons right now. I'll never know for sure."

"How much does the economist-turned-prostitute charge for a blowjob? $200, possibly more if you account for inflation."

"When you're single nobody likes you... when you're in a relationship everybody likes you."

"A Jew and a Muslim walk into a bar. The Muslim says ""I don't drink"" The Jew replies ""I'm not paying"""

"I bought a dvd of tiger woods best 18 holes... I was pretty upset it was all golfing."

"Stop being so hard on yourself. You don't have to be a complete idiot. Just be the best idiot you can be."

"Why did the chicken cross the street? **DO SOMETHING ELSE WITH YOUR LIFE!**"

"I will never trust a poster who claims to be an obstetrician. Because OP never delivers."

"How do you get a New Yorker upset about ISIS terror attacks? Tell them ISIS are Red Sox fans."