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Joke of the Day

"I went out for dinner last night. The Captain's Basket was on special for $7.00. I tried it just for the halibut."

"If I had a dollar for every time I've used algebra in my life I'd have *n* dollars"

"I'm a party animal... because when I go to parties I end up pissing on the floor"

"I have a great motto for a sperm bank. You spank it, we bank it."

"Having a relationship is like taking your SAT. There's a lot of cheating, you never finish at the same time, and, in the end, you end up trying again in a few months."

"Yo mama so old her birth certificate is in Roman numerals."

"""Superman gets morning steel. That's hot."" Filed under things I think about while having my coffee."

"I hate when I'm beating my grandma in Mario Kart and she kicks the controller out my hands."

"What was the slogan for Shakespeare's camping shop? Now is the winter of our discount tents"

"Only is Adam and Eve were Chinese they would've probably ate the snake instead of the forbidden fruit."