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Joke of the Day

"Last night, I fell asleep with one of those new e-cigarettes in my mouth.I woke up half an hour later and my whole house was on the internet"

"What are some good 'your sister jokes'? Ones like: what's the difference between dinner and your sister? I wash my hands before eating dinner."

"Do you know the definition of insanity? Do you know the definition of insanity? Do you know the definition of insanity? Do you know the definition of insanity? Do you know the definition of insanity?"

"Why don't X and Z get along with Y? Because Y so serious"

"What does Hitler say when he's impressed? That's Totalatarily Awesome"

"I read a whole book on adhesive substances last night, I just couldn't put it down"

"A Spanish magician is at a party He begins his trick for the birthday girl, grabbing a handful of magic sprinkle dust. He then begins to count, ""uno, dos,"" POOF. He disappeared without a tres."

"If you send Joseph Gordon-Levitt a script that doesn't say ""skinny tie"" on the first page, he gets so mad he has to write four ukulele songs"

"Moths are really just butterflies on meth, all angry and shit while head-butting light bulbs and biting holes in your favorite shirt."

"Where does Phil Collins record all of his music? The stu-stu-studio."