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Joke of the Day

"I tried to join the mile high club once But nobody gave a flying fuck."

"What's black and loves to destroy Baltimore? The Pittsburgh Steelers"

"How can you make your wife scream for an hour after sex? you clean your d*ck with the curtains"

"Why does Eatern Europe always fail their test? Because they're always russian to finnish first."

"[writing my first autopsy report] There was a slight mix-up initially but it turns out the guy died from an accidental autopsy"

"Q: What will you never say about a banjo player? A: That's the banjo player's porsche."

"It's a great time to be a horse caretaker in this economy Stable jobs are hard to come by these days."

"My wife gave me a brochure on anger management the other day. I lost it."

"What is Jean-Paul Sartre's favorite animal? Lemur."

"I had a dream last night... ...that I was eating a massive marshmallow, it was huge! And then when I woke up this morning, my pillow was gone!"