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Joke of the Day
"I tried to join the mile high club once But nobody gave a flying fuck."
Next Joke
"My Fairy God-Mother once offered me the choice of a longer penis or a better memory I can't remember what I chose"
"ME: *taking their hand* It's okay. We all struggle with connecting. RABBID RACCOON: *hissing & desperately trying to wrench its hand free*"
"Jafar my name is jafar i come from afar there's a Note 7 in my car allahu akbar"
"A man sees a woman 500 feet in the air... He asks her ""hey, do you know anything about parachutes?"" She says ""No. Do you know anything about gas stoves?"""
"What are the man with no shoes say when he was forced to walk on broken glass? Fuck"
"What do french fries and friends have in common? They both die if you chop them"
"Why do jews have such big noses. Because air is free."
"What do you call a bunch of Asian bears roaring? Panda-monium."
"[Bookstore] Me: *hands over Tangled coloring book* Cashier: How old is your daughter? Me: [sweating nervously] Of course it is"