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Joke of the Day

"[writing my first autopsy report] There was a slight mix-up initially but it turns out the guy died from an accidental autopsy"

Next Joke
 
"A man takes his wife out to dinner one night. The wife says, ""I want you to treat me like a princess."" The husband drives his Mercedes into a wall."
"I never feel older than in the 12 seconds I spend on web pages scrolling down to my birth year."
"If a cannibal ate a comedian... ...that could lead to some funny shit"
"Mom: *tastefully decorates house* Kid: HERE ARE 20 MILK CARTONS I TAPED TOGETHER TO MAKE A SNOWMAN I EXPECT THIS TO BE PROMINENTLY DISPLAYED"
"One crazy fantasy I have is having any energy to do things after work."
"Trapped in a crevice. ""Go on boy, get help."" The dog chews off my one free arm. ""Ok yeah bring that back to town I guess"""
"Why did the chicken cross the playground ? To get to the other slide"
"I like my slaves the same way I like my coffee Free"
"What kind of key gets shit done? A do key."