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Joke of the Day

"In 2003 an Olive Garden waitress told me to tell her when to stop grating cheese on my salad. As far as I know she's still doing it."

"Mom: Why don't you talk to your friend Richard anymore? You used to be best friends. Son: I don't know mom, he's kinda a dick."

"Drove past a Graveyard today... How many people are dead in there? my father says... i go unno? He says "" All of em"" dadjoked. It was 1998."

"The invention of dildos Had a much deeper impact than previously anticipated."

"Rick Astley will let you borrow all the movies in his Pixar collection except one, He is never gonna give you Up."

"What do you get when you cross a joke and a rhetorical question? ..."

"What do you get when you set a dog's tail on fire? Hopefully arrested you sick fuck... also a Dash-hound"

"""When you wish upon a star, it takes trillions of years for the wish to get there, and by that stage you're dead."" - Neil deGrasse Tyson."

"What's the difference between a vegetarian and a virgin? A vegetarian doesn't like meat and a virgin doesn't know yet if she likes meat or not."

"It's Friday night... So many innocent beers have no idea what's coming for em."