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Joke of the Day

"What do you get when you set a dog's tail on fire? Hopefully arrested you sick fuck... also a Dash-hound"

"I don't always tell Harambe jokes but I'll take a shot at it."

"Why did Mozart kill his chicken? Because when he asked the chicken ""Who's the best composer"" the chicken said ""Bach, Bach, Bach"""

"regardless means without regard irregardless means the same as regardless except you never had any English classes"

"Why is chili so annoying? Because it's always Jalopeno business."

"Hilary Clinton will make the best president She will save us 25% in salary right from the start."

"What is the worst part about having sex with an old woman? Ever open a grilled cheese sandwich?"

"I'm very sorry for your loss, but do you know if this funeral home has wi-fi?"

"Did you hear about the two thieves who stole a calendar? They each got six months"

"Created a Kickstarter for my movie. Hoping to raise enough for a popcorn and soda too."