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Joke of the Day

"What do you get when you set a dog's tail on fire? Hopefully arrested you sick fuck... also a Dash-hound"

"What's worse than having your car impounded by the police? Impounding your mother"

"Musing I've had: If a person has sex with sheep, do they need to wear a condomn?"

"There's nothing worse when I bring a girl home from a bar and she's in still in my bed the next morning That's when the smell of a corpse really begins to take effect"

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Brian ! Brian who ? Brian drain !"

"[donald trump wakes up from getting his wisdom teeth removed. his mouth stuffed with gauze] did i builded the big walls yet?"

"DOCTOR: a new study says the meds ur on cause hallucinations ME: oh LARGE MENACING CACTUS THAT FOLLOWS ME EVERYWHERE: was it peer reviewed?"

"Why do Christian bands only record with Pro Tools? Because they don't understand how to use Logic or Reason."

"How do you know when your sister is on her period? when your dad's dick tastes like blood"

"Yo mama's so fat when she takes a bath she fills the tub then turns on the water."