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Joke of the Day

"Q: What did the aliens say, when they came to earth in search of soda pop? A: Take me to your liter!"

"What's green and eats nuts? Syphilis"

"What's the difference between The Rolling Stones and a Scotsman? The Rolling Stones say, ""Hey you, get off of my cloud!"" A Scotsman says, ""Hey McCloud, get off of my ewe!"""

"i have to wake up at 3 am tomorrow to go to the airport i've honestly never felt more attacked and victimized than i do now"

"Q: Why do scientists look for things twice? A: Because they research everything."

"Life as a penis must be hard."

"Most people think that being in your 50s is now classed as the new 30s. Take my word for It, the police speed cameras think differently"

"Harry S. Truman walks into a sushi bar and orders a Nagasake bomb."

"People accuse me of never giving a damn about anyone but myself, but I distinctly remember saying 'bless you' when someone sneezed last year"

"ME:John's coming over for dinner. WIFE:Work John or Been to Europe John? JOHN:*from outside* This door reminds me of one I saw in England."