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Joke of the Day

"What do you call it when a cow goes on holiday? A vaccation"

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"Which hotel chain was Nikita Khrushchev's favourite? Premier Inn."
"What's a golf club's favorite type of music? Swing!"
"I call my penis Oscar Pistorius. It only goes inside for a disappointingly short period of time."
"I save money on condoms by not getting laid."
"Whenever my wife forces me to write my own message on a bday card, I write it on top of her's and copy exactly what she wrote."
"This will be my first valentines with a girlfriend. Anyone have any ideas to help make it great? I'm 17, can drive and have a source of income. I would really like to make this one good."
"Sex is a dick activity... ...though I like to shorten it to a-dick-tive."
"I like my coffee how I like my women... Quiet."
"What do you get when you cross dessert with a monkey? A Meringueutan"