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Joke of the Day

"My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing it So we went and had drinks. Cool guy, wants to be a web designer."

Next Joke
 
"Why do pencils shave? To look sharp.     Credit: 3rd grade me."
"Because of Twitter, people use words like Twitterverse, Tweeple, and Twitcide. Which makes me want to twoot myself in the face."
"I treat my wife like a fine wine. I keep that bitch locked in the cellar."
"Abortion sure brings out the kid in you."
"What do you call a soldier who has been mustard gassed and pepper sprayed? A seasoned veteran.. I'm so sorry"
"What do you call 88 rednecks in an orgy? A family reunion."
"What do you call ten German men standing abreast, walking backward? [OC] A receeding Herr line."
"What did the plant say to the other plant that it really liked alot? let me be your *soil*mate"
"What did the conformist say to the Guru? You make me Sikh!"