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Joke of the Day

"Apple's CEO Tim Cook has announced he is gay. Samsung's CEO is expected to announce tomorrow he is waaay gayer."

"My Welsh mate was found dead yesterday. He died the way he would have wanted to go... He passed away peacefully in his sheep"

"Words are so powerful; but I never have time to write on my fists before a fight."

"Cannibals clowning around Two cannibals are eating a clown. One of them stops, licks his lips and says ""does this taste funny to you"""

"Me: OMG, Bill and Cindy got divorced!!! Hub: I know! He's got a fresh slate. That guys livin the dream! Me:... Hub:...his dream, not mine"

"Practice makes perfect. But only if you remove the A, the I, a C, add an F and an E and then rearrange the letters."

"Me: ..and a small sprite. McDonald's Girl: Want a large? All sizes are only $.99 Me: I ASKED FOR SMALL YOU DIABETES PEDDLER ok gimme a large"

"Necrophilia joke How can you tell a mortician is a necrophiliac? He's always HARD at work."

"Last night I dreamt I was a muffler... I woke up this morning exhausted."

"I like to have sex in the kitchen so she doesn't have to walk to far to make me a sandwich after. You know, because I'm a gentleman."