167494

Joke of the Day

"A hand grenade to a daycare? RT @McDonalds: #ShamrockShake is to spring as _____ is to _______."

"Well, it's easy to tell I'm married. It's Friday night and I'm at home updating my facebook status..."

"I can tell so much about a person just by guessing."

"Ways to get ants out of your house: 1) Ant traps 2) Say you had a good time but it's late & you have work tomorrow 3) Set house on fire"

"Wanna know what makes me smile? Face muscles"

"She asked me for an example of a double entendre So I gave it to her."

"POLICE: Sir, do you know how fast you were going? ME: Jealous much?"

"""If you gaze long into a bisque, the bisque also gazes into you."" - Philosophical soup kitchen chef"

"Unroll wrapping paper. Shoo cat away Turn to get gift Shoo cat away Get tape Dammit cat Get tape Wrap up cat Wrap up gift Pet cat"

"What do Mexicans use to cut their pizza? Little Ceasars"