211934

Joke of the Day

"Do buses and trains run on time? Usually yes. No they don't. Buses run on wheels and trains run on the tracks."

"What kind of jokes do bad comedians tell their audience? Bad jokes."

"Your an idiot. -You're. What? -You're not your. But I said it. I didn't type it. We're talking. -Yeah but I heard the typo. You're an idiot."

"My friend is mad at me because I saw her using a huge tablet to make a call so I offered her a gas cylinder to light her cigarette.."

"Silence is Golden, except when coming from children... Then you'd better go check to see what's broken."

"When someone says Jesus was a virgin ...I have to laugh. How about that one time he got nailed by a bunch of Romans?"

"Why can't a bicycle stand alone? It's two tired."

"I like my women how I like my government: open and unprotected."

"ME: *walks in with ball rammed into my mouth* Happeh nuh? JUDGE: Not what a gagging order means! Are you sure you want to defend yourself?"

"I'm AMAZED by mythology. I'll tell you about my favorite tales... if you have a minotaur two. (amazed... get it?)"