211934

Joke of the Day

"Do buses and trains run on time? Usually yes. No they don't. Buses run on wheels and trains run on the tracks."

"What did the bartender say to the giraffe when he ordered a beer? Long neck or giraffed?"

"Mr. Penis has a sad life. His hair is a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbour is an asshole, his bestfriend is a pussy and his owner beats him habitually!"

"What is dry on the outside filled with water and blows up buildings ? A fish tank !"

"I walked into the boss's office and handed him a pear. ""What's this for?"" He asked. ""A pay rise."" I replied. ""My wife told me to grow it first and then ask you."""

"There are three types of people: 1. Annoying people 2. Annoying people I am sleeping with 3. People I haven't met"

"What's the difference between a oral and rectal thermometer The taste."

"The Notebook (2004) A stranger harasses a nursing home resident with stories about people she doesn't know (PG-13 2hr 3min)"

"I knew someone who was frozen to absolute Zero once... He was 0K"

"I was just about to get offended by a stranger on the Internet when I remembered I'm not an idiot."