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Joke of the Day

"""Sure Chief, you can join us for dinner this year. But in the future, you're gonna need reservations."" -Pilgrims, at the first Thanksgiving"

"Whenever I talk about me and friend doing something, it's a good bet that my friend is actually a pizza."

"My girlfriend refused to give me a blowjob She's allergic to nuts"

"""Doctor, tennis has caused bad pain in my forearms"" -There's nothing I can do ""There isn't?"" -Not until you bring in your other two arms"

"Did you hear about the new group my mom's in? D.A.M. (Moms against dyslexia)"

"Two guys were competing to see who could masturbate into menswear the fastest... in the end it didn't matter, they both came in a tie."

"All I want to know is why Antonio Banderas' hair has been wet for 20 years."

"What's the most annoying joke in the world?"

"What's the difference between Baptists and Methodists? Methodists will make eye contact at the liquor store."

"Q: Why couldn't Batman go fishing? A: Because Robin ate the worms."