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Joke of the Day

"If Justin Beiber and Rebecca Black were both drowning and you could only save one, would you grab a bite to eat or finish mowing the lawn?"

"A day without sunshine is like, you know, night. Steve Martin: A day without sunshine is like, you know, night."

"What's the only animal that can't get hit in the head? Duck."

"How do you call a USB stick in Russia? A put-in"

"What do you call a stoner working at a repair shop? High maintenance"

"Doctor Doctor I think I'm a butterfly Will you say what you mean and stop flitting about!"

"The nice thing of living in a small village is that when you don't know what you're doing someone else does."

"[date] Me: you wanna see what desserts they have? Girl: how about we go home & I'll let you- Me [calls waiter]: what desserts do u have?"

"Why did Ernest Hemingway kill himself? He was paid per word."

"What do you call it when your Arab parents disaprove of your girlfriend? Harambe"