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Joke of the Day

"I like my cream like I like my slaves. Whipped"

"Checking my lotto numbers makes me forget everything I know about probability, and gives me a temporary belief in the power of prayer."

"What do politicians and diapers have in common? Both need to be changed for the same reason."

"My sister bet me I couldn't make a czar out of spaghetti... Boy was she surprised when I introduced her to [Ditalini of Pereslav](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dmitry_of_Pereslavl)!"

"What did Mrs Revere say when Paul got on a gorilla to warn the farmers that the British were coming? Paul stop monkeying around!"

"Ritalin and Adderall Market Research says they both tested well among focus groups."

"As a kid my mom laughed at me because I was always worrying about being shot with a crossbow while on the toilet. Well who's laughing now?"

"Stop looking at row numbers in first class. That's not where you sit."

"I went on a diet for 10 days. You know what I lost? 10 Days"

"There are 2 types of people in this world... those that can extrapolate from missing information."