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Joke of the Day

"What did Mrs Revere say when Paul got on a gorilla to warn the farmers that the British were coming? Paul stop monkeying around!"

Next Joke
 
"A man takes his shoe off in church... Man 1: *takes off shoe and starts peering inside of it* Man 2: ""What the problem?"" Man 1: *Sighs* "" I guess i'm just having some problems with my inner-sole """
"Man gets his wife roses for Valentine's Day Wife says ""I guess I have to open my legs now"". Man says ""Why? Don't we have a vase""?"
"Me: [walks up to boss] *SLAP* Boss: WTH?! Me: It's Natl Bully Month Boss: No, it's Natl Bully PREVENTION Month! Me: well this is awkward"
"After I ask a stranger if I can pet their dog and they say yes, I like to respond, ""I'll keep that in mind"" and walk off"
"Two men were chatting in a bar ""So what do you do?"" ""I write"" ""Oh, poetry or prose?"" ""Neither, I write cartoons"" ""Why's that?"" ""No rhyme or reason"""
"What's the difference in red and purple...? ... How hard you squeeze it."
"What kind of bear is best? One that gets you an oscar"
"It's too bad Batman's real name wasn't Bruce Bates, then Alfred would be saying Master Bates all the time."
"What's big and yellow and can't swim? A bulldozer."