200019

Joke of the Day

"you call it the Irish Goodbye, I call it the I Never Wanted To Be Here In The First Place See You In Hell"

"Cinderella is my favorite fairy tale about how foot size is the best way to recognize someone."

"Two lizards are being chased by the police ... and one says to the other 'Lose the tail!'"

"What comes after 69? Neither Alan Rickman nor David Bowie"

"What is the perfect name for an Indian butler? Mahatma Coat"

"A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, ""Why the long face?"" The horse responds, ""Because my daughter just died of leukemia."""

"What do you call a timid person that uses Snapchat? A snapping turtle!"

"Why did your sister keep running around her bed ? Because she was trying to catch up with her sleep."

"What did the sheep say when he saw his girlfriend? Baaaaaeeeee!"

"""Use divorce, Luke."" """" Obi Wan, marriage counselor"