211411

Joke of the Day

"When people ask me for advice, I tell them, ""Use your best judgment,"" which they clearly don't have if they are asking me for advice."

"How do you make a space party? You planet."

"I'm very good friends with 25 letters of the alphabet... I don't know why."

"Lady Gaga: ""People should look nice all the time."" ""Nice"" = ""If an alien did meth and had a baby with a satellite dish."""

"Miley Cirus' nipple slip at MTV's VMAs"

"Q: What is a conservative? A: A liberal who's been mugged."

"What do you call introverted hobbits? Shyer folk"

"What do you call a group of politically similar crows? A cawcus"

"What animal lives on the farm and says ""moo""? A bilingual chicken"

"I like my women like I like my Isis victims. Topless. Remember, this is just a joke, so don't be offended. It's nothing to lose your head over."