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Joke of the Day

"I'm very good friends with 25 letters of the alphabet... I don't know why."

"I bought shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with but fuck you."

"I've made the front page 5 times! The girls on /r/creepyPMs are really mean and don't understand the P means Private."

"Q: How many 1st AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Why are you asking me that question? Can't you see I'm busy!"

"What is the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer. A bad lawyer can make a case drag out for several years. A good lawyer can make it last even longer."

"a man walked into a bar I thought he would have seen it."

"What do you call a horse that's a criminal? A Zebra."

"Future Headline: ""Trump Caught On Tape Eating Newborn Babies, Hillary Caught Using Friend's Netflix Password Undecideds Still On The Fence"""

"I saw that they were opening a new beauty store in Boston. I think it was called ""Boston balmer"""

"What do you call a special needs kid who is late for class? ""tardy"""